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Thursday, January 8, 2009
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MARINE FRIENDS v.s CIVILIAN FRIENDS
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk
MARINE FRIENDS: Will post 360 security so you dont get caught
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs
MARINE FRIENDS: Call your parents Drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
MARINE FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...we fucked up...but hey, that shit was fun as fuck!"
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Cry with you.
MARINE FRIENDS: laugh at you and tell you to put some vagasil on your pussy.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
MARINE FRIENDS: Keep your stuff untill they PCS.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
MARINE FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
MARINE FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
MARINE FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
MARINE FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, you better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don't waste.. That's alcohol abuse!!!"
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".
MARINE FRIENDS: Will say "okay just one more" 2 minutes later "okay just one more".
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
MARINE FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!!
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will tell you "They'd take a bullet for you."
MARINE FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.
What Is A United States Marine?
I am 233 years of romping, stomping, hell, death, destruction. I am the finest fighting machine the world has ever seen. I was born in a bomb crater. My mother was an M-16 and my Father is the Devil. Each moment that I live is an additional threat upon your life.
I am a rough looking, roving soldier from the sea. I am cocky, self centered, and overbearing. I do not know the meaning of fear for I am fear itself. I am a green amphibious monster made of blood and guts that arose from the ashes of my enemies, festering on anti-Americans throughout the globe. When ever it may arise and when my time comes, I will die a glorious and grotesque death on the battlefield, giving my life for the Corps, Mom, and Apple Pie.
I stole the Eagle from the Air Force, the Anchor from the Navy, and the rope from the Army. Then on the 7th day, while God rested, I overran His perimeter and took over the Globe and I have been protecting it ever since!
I live like a Soldier, talk like a Sailor, and slap the shit out of both of them. Soldier by day, lover by night, drunkard by choice, and...
MARINE BY THE GRACE OF GOD ALONE!
You stay up for 16 hours
He stays up for days on end.
_________________________
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
__________________________
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
__________________________
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with
your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
__________________________
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
____________________ ______
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
__________________________
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
_________________________
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
__________________________
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order
wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.
__________________________
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
__________________________
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
__________________________
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes ove r.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
__________________________
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
__________________________
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
__________________________
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever
meet
__________________________
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers
why he is fighting.
__________________________
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.
__________________________
You see only what the media wants you to s ee.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
__________________________
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told.
__________________________
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.
__________________________
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He tries to sleep but gets woken by mortars and helicopters all night long.
Well guns i hope those help a bit i know its not exactly what your looking for. but seems to have a few good ideas in them. they went around myspace for a bit enjoy them if anything yall :)
usmc 02-06
Lcpl Kolaya
8th comm
My goal is to do a whole series and maybe even a book.
These are great! Thank you very much.
Some of them will start showing up in the weekly SemperToons soon!
Guns out
If your kids respond by saying, "SNAP!", when you say, "EYEBALLS!"
You're probably a Marine IF you find your kids in a crowded mall by barking for them.
You're probably a Marine IF you have pullup bars installed in each of your kids door jams.
You're probably a Marine IF your kids count to ten by going 1, 2, 3, 1... 1, 2, 3, 2... 1, 2, 3, 3...
You're probably a Marine IF you're favorite cartoon in the world is SemperToons!
Semper Fi, Hank
Keep up the good work Brother!
You're probably a Marine if:
You can sing ALL THREE verses of the Marine's Hymn
After retirement, you still call the bathroom the head.
You announce to your children that it's time for chow, and they understand.
When members of other services think you are insane, you respond, "Thank you!"
More to follow as I think of them.
Semper Fi,
Michael
YOU ARE PROBABLY A MARINE IF:
You'd a soon sleep wrapped in a tarpaulin as pajamas -- you sleep in your skivvies.
If you wear your hat indoors, you fear that God will strike you dead -- if your Drill Instructor doesn't get you first.
Marine for life if..
Every answer to a yes or no question is an animal sound
you have more combat boots then any other footware
you have spent more time in cammies and green on green then in normal clothes
everytime you see a long hair on a guy, peace loving hippies, and any other liberals all you can think is "NASTIES"
you own a bulldog named "chesty"
you take pride when someone calls the Marines a bunch of idiots who love only death and destuction.
any of your stories start with "So there I was in Tailand."
to be continued.. Semper Fi SSgt Totzke
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