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The Weekly SemperToon
The perfect senario.
Dog Hatch
Even our Dogs are Motivated
What Is A United States Marine?
ReplyDeleteI am 233 years of romping, stomping, hell, death, destruction. I am the finest fighting machine the world has ever seen. I was born in a bomb crater. My mother was an M-16 and my Father is the Devil. Each moment that I live is an additional threat upon your life.
I am a rough looking, roving soldier from the sea. I am cocky, self centered, and overbearing. I do not know the meaning of fear for I am fear itself. I am a green amphibious monster made of blood and guts that arose from the ashes of my enemies, festering on anti-Americans throughout the globe. When ever it may arise and when my time comes, I will die a glorious and grotesque death on the battlefield, giving my life for the Corps, Mom, and Apple Pie.
I stole the Eagle from the Air Force, the Anchor from the Navy, and the rope from the Army. Then on the 7th day, while God rested, I overran His perimeter and took over the Globe and I have been protecting it ever since!
I live like a Soldier, talk like a Sailor, and slap the shit out of both of them. Soldier by day, lover by night, drunkard by choice, and...
MARINE BY THE GRACE OF GOD ALONE!
You stay up for 16 hours
ReplyDeleteHe stays up for days on end.
_________________________
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
__________________________
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
__________________________
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with
your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
__________________________
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
____________________ ______
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
__________________________
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
_________________________
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
__________________________
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order
wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.
__________________________
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
__________________________
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
__________________________
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes ove r.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
__________________________
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
__________________________
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
__________________________
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever
meet
__________________________
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers
why he is fighting.
__________________________
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.
__________________________
You see only what the media wants you to s ee.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
__________________________
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told.
__________________________
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.
__________________________
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He tries to sleep but gets woken by mortars and helicopters all night long.
Well guns i hope those help a bit i know its not exactly what your looking for. but seems to have a few good ideas in them. they went around myspace for a bit enjoy them if anything yall :)
ReplyDeleteusmc 02-06
Lcpl Kolaya
8th comm
My goal is to do a whole series and maybe even a book.
ReplyDeleteThese are great! Thank you very much.
Some of them will start showing up in the weekly SemperToons soon!
Guns out
If your kids respond by saying, "SNAP!", when you say, "EYEBALLS!"
ReplyDeleteYou're probably a Marine IF you find your kids in a crowded mall by barking for them.
ReplyDeleteYou're probably a Marine IF you have pullup bars installed in each of your kids door jams.
You're probably a Marine IF your kids count to ten by going 1, 2, 3, 1... 1, 2, 3, 2... 1, 2, 3, 3...
You're probably a Marine IF you're favorite cartoon in the world is SemperToons!
Semper Fi, Hank
Keep up the good work Brother!
You're probably a Marine if:
ReplyDeleteYou can sing ALL THREE verses of the Marine's Hymn
After retirement, you still call the bathroom the head.
You announce to your children that it's time for chow, and they understand.
When members of other services think you are insane, you respond, "Thank you!"
More to follow as I think of them.
Semper Fi,
Michael
YOU ARE PROBABLY A MARINE IF:
ReplyDeleteYou'd a soon sleep wrapped in a tarpaulin as pajamas -- you sleep in your skivvies.
If you wear your hat indoors, you fear that God will strike you dead -- if your Drill Instructor doesn't get you first.
Marine for life if..
ReplyDeleteEvery answer to a yes or no question is an animal sound
you have more combat boots then any other footware
you have spent more time in cammies and green on green then in normal clothes
everytime you see a long hair on a guy, peace loving hippies, and any other liberals all you can think is "NASTIES"
you own a bulldog named "chesty"
you take pride when someone calls the Marines a bunch of idiots who love only death and destuction.
any of your stories start with "So there I was in Tailand."
to be continued.. Semper Fi SSgt Totzke
You might be a Marine if your elderly, Cold war air force, friends in their 80s at church notice that your moustache is going beyond the corners of your mouth and the hair on the back of your head can be grasped be the thumb and forefinger. In reply you can only answer that you've only been retired for about 7 years, it's. 1 degree outside here in Kansas, and the commandant could be calling me any day. Sent from my retired Corpsman, wife's, account. Lucky me!!
ReplyDeleteYou might be a Marine if your elderly, Cold war air force, friends in their 80s at church notice that your moustache is going beyond the corners of your mouth and the hair on the back of your head can be grasped be the thumb and forefinger. In reply you can only answer that you've only been retired for about 7 years, it's. 1 degree outside here in Kansas, and the commandant could be calling me any day. Sent from my retired Corpsman, wife's, account. Lucky me!!
ReplyDelete